Leave Me Alone

I'm a distance away from my dreams again!

3 marks, and you drove me farther.

I can't afford to fail, to lose.

I'm just having expectation on myself,

but expectation turns into diappointment.

I realize,

things are not always easy,

I should accept the truth.

I wanted to cry, cry, cry.

So, just leave me alone for a moment,

to ruminate, to reflect, to be in solitude.

LEAVE ME ALONE!

Folk Psychology

WTF!!! Why people think that I am a Psychology Student and I should know everything about human? Repeatedly, they assumed I am a ROBOT, not a human. If I don't know how to angry, if I don't know how to get sad, if I don't have emotions, if I don't have feelings, then am I the human I should be?

Don't come over and tell me "you are psychology student, you should know why you get angry, you should think about the whole situation before you act, you should support others, and not get angry with others!" OMG, when I was angry, will I still able to reason what the hell am I get angry of all these and what other ways beside get angry? I am a psychology student but at the same time I am a human.

What I learned is not really about what people think I've learned. Reading your mind? Hypnosis? Knowing all about you? Stop making all these assumptions!!! I am so sick of all these! If study Psychology meant to lead us towards perfection and if it meant to be a cure for all psychotic syndrome, why not everyone take out Psychology course?

Reality

I have something in my mind which I couldn't utter.

I wonder, why must I feel the way I feel now?

I don't know who to tell, who to share.

Perhaps I am expecting too much?

I thought it goes the way I thought.

Too much of fantasize,

everything is perfect in my wonderland.

But the reality shows it is not,

nothing is perfect.

Everything is just my imaginery.

Back here,

I am nothing.

I will stop dreaming,

because I am tired of all these~

My days back here

I am back to my hometown finally. Home sweet home~ is how I feel now. Last night I have the best sleep since I came back Malaysia. Not much changes here, both people and the environment.

Now, I am having a dilemma here, to accept that internship or to apply for another internship/job/volunteering work? I was thinking this summer break, hmm, summer, should have enjoy my summer to the fullest; at the same time doing nothing make my summer meaningless as well. I am not desperately need a job for money, I just want to gain some experiences, practical life experiences. I feel so contradicting, I wish to work and I wish to travel around at the same time, but both couldn't come together I guess. Sigh...

Okay, back here, went out with my high school friends, as usual, our beloved gathering place, PCB beach. Not much people here, they going to start a new sem soon, so basically I have not much friends left here. The gathering was great, able to catch up with them since 1 year I guess. As I said, nothing much changed, we are still as 38 as ever, especially their interest in those rumours has never changed. I used to hate rumours when I was still in my secondary school, but now, haha, who cares? I explained and if people still insist the rumour is true, well, just let it be, I can't stop people from thinking and talking that way, so, why I care? Perhaps people just curious, yeah man, curiosity kills!

Oh well, I've been not updating my blog for quite some time, because I just don't know what to write. No feel, nothing much happen, so I'll just keep it blank. Wow, time flies, almost one month since my holiday. Arghh, gonna appreciate my time here....... Oh, finally I am able to meet up Yen, the forever busy woman, have a nice talk in both KLCC and SS2. Almost the same time last year and this year, both of us will be around KLCC-- Last year she accompany me to do my visa, this year she wait for me to interview. Huhu, but she's going to transfer to Australia soon again! Why all my good good friends are there? Nevermind, one day I shall fly there and meet up with you guys! I promise! Able to meet up with YeeLeng, Rebin too, went Poppy together and have a nice time too. Then then, have dinner and movie with Racheal, Nicky and She Fong. Haven't meet up with my darling yet. Darling!!! Gonna meet you up real soon!!!

Okay, I shall update again! Bye for now!