Happy Holiday

It's holiday! Opps.. Not really holiday yet, but I am going for holiday tomorrow! That means I miss two lectures, sigh! I am tired, I am exhausted, but still, I am leaving Sheffield by tomorrow no matter how. And I think it is a busy and pack holiday, bless me got time to study!

Time flies, about 3 months here, the end of semester one in UK! Wow~ Whatever happened just like yesterday. Still remember the day I left, all the nervousness, uncertainty is still so clear and so alive in my mind. But I started to love here, love to be in Sheffield, I don't know why, everything just happen naturally...

Okay, will be temporary off for holiday. Will be back on 29th Decemeber I suppose!

For those going back home, enjoy your warmest and sweetest moment at home!
For those going travel, enjoy your trip and have a pleasant and safe trip!

Happy Holiday Everyone~~ Merry Christmas and Happy new year 2008!

It's this season

It's winter here, weather getting colder and colder, hearts around are even colder. It's an emo and depress season, people seem to be emotional recently. Feeling which could not be describe, hoping someone out there to share the feeling, but sometimes it's hard to find someone to talk to, I know it's hard. But hard doesn't mean don't have, eventually there is a right person to talk to.

Travelling seems nice, but I wondering why it couldn't chill me up? Seeing people going back home is the worst feeling in the holiday. It's not we couldn't back home, is we choose to stay. Tears drop out without you realizing, memories flash into your mind, it's like a dream, like a movie. Trying to get drunk, hoping it could numb the pain. As I said, get drunk is a temporary escape from the reality, from the problems. After all, we'll be having HOPE, hoping to get over this difficult period, hoping to go back in half year time, hoping to gather again, hoping to have another sweet moment.. Yeah, hoping!

Walking down the city in this freezing cold weather, the city at night seems lonely, perhaps there are many lonely hearts there. Happening life doesn't mean you are not lonely. Sometimes loneliness could be even greater when you are in a crowd. Study abroad seems happy and enjoy to most of the people. I should be glad then. But, who truly understand the feelings of international students? Bunch of misses and worriness, who knows? Life would never be easy, so does life in oversea.

Hoping all my friends can go through this tough period! We lost once in a while, but I am sure we could find our way! Blessing everyone stays strong and move on! Cheers~

Freaked up

Holiday is coming soon!! Supposedly I should feel happy because I am going to Swiss, London and Porstmouth, but don't know why I don't have any exciting feel, seriously I don't have! Maybe I just need a good rest in the beginning of holiday, maybe I just prefer to stay in my room, spending some time by myself. My schedule is pack in the beginning of holiday, but it becomes empty after that, luckily somebody is visiting UK in January, and that's the only thing I looking forward for my holiday. I am lazy and not in a mood of socializing and dealing with people recently, I just need time for solitude.

Human is hard to be understand. It's hard to undersand yourself, and it is even harder to find someone who understand you. Behind the smiley face, who knows what a person actually feels? Do you really think you live for yourself in this world? I think we should live for ourselves but not for other people, but apparently it is impossible to live only for yourself. We try to be happy because we don't want others to feel unhappy. We learn to be tough because we don't want the people around worry about us. We comforting others, we trying to give others hope and support because we don't want to see others feel down. But then, are we happy? Could we be tough all the time? Or when you trying to comfort others, you also hope others to comfort you at the same time? I am just doubting, doubt about what happened around us.

A friend called, we talked for about an hour. And I realize we have the similar feel, we experienced the same thing, and we looking forward for the same thing. We screwed up sometimes, we feel lost and we doubt about the thing we are doing, the life we are going through. When I screwed up, I talked to him; when he screwed up, he talked to me, we are supporting and comforting each other so that we could move on with our life. Still remember what he told me "look at the mirror dolly, you're just lost, find back yourself, I believe you can." I am glad to have some good friends beside me, to hold me when I fall, to pull me back the track when I was lost. I know it doesn't matter when others being harsh to me, when the life is challenging me, because I know no matter how I still have you all, no matter how you all will be my side to give me supports and everything. Same thing goes to you my dear friend, I am here to listen to you whenever you need someone to talk to (no matter what time). Remember, you're not alone. Though we can't talk quite often, as you said "friendship is not about distance and proximity, our hearts bring us close to each other."

Relationship between people is complicated, especially romantic love relationship. Recently I heard a lot, I see a lot, and all these are freaking me up, why some f*cking people can betray relationship just like that? Haha.. Perhaps human are cold blooded, when a party change the target, when a party decide to quit, it's GAME OVER. Relationship is so fragile, so weak and it could change within one day. People have a lot of excuses to explain why they betray the relationship. As I said, EXCUSES!! I think it is better to keep you mouth shut rather than come out with those lame EXCUSES which you claim they are REASONS! All these make me scare to involve in a relationship, because I scare one day my trust will burst into pieces, whatever shit promises will turn into a knife and cut into my heart. Tell me I am paranoid, tell me I think too much, but all these are just freaking me up. I have no idea why am I so angry, perhaps some people are just hurting my friends.

Okay, I am tired, I am trying to be understanding of people around me; but sometimes I need people to understand me too. I just hope somebody out there can lend their ears for me, let me mumble and complain, then tell me "nevermind, everything will be fine, just speak out everything you wish to say, I'll be your dustbin." Hahaha...

I know this post is quite long and sorry if anyone of you find it very irritating. I am not emo-ing, I am just throwing out the "rubbish" which stuck in my mind. I feel better now! Uh-Huh...

Clubbing?!

It's 3.42am UK time, I just came back from library. It's friday night, seeing the people came out from clubs or pubs when I was on my way back home. People having fun, people get high, people get drunk, all of these scenes remind me of those nights, when I was in the club with my "kaki clubbing". Hahaha... Those days, clubbing seems like a reinforcement, we rush for our assignment before clubbing, and well, we are so efficient in doing assignment before clubbing, is a MUST to finish it. I won't be early in club, definetely won't, I don't know why...

Yet, it's weekend here and I was in the library, so pathetic and so unlike me. I don't club here because I don't have much kaki, I don't have the right feel, I don't know where to go, and I prefer stay in the library..

These were those days:

~Ladies *Maison~

~Zouk~

~I miss you guys~

~Zouk~

~Guess this is my last clubbing before I came here~

I miss those times, when we have fun, when we get drunk, when we did something silly, when we emo, when we cried, when we comfort each other, when we hugging each other.. Everything everything will become our endless topic for days, weeks or even months...

Clubbing, to me, is about the right people, right feeling, nice atmosphere, and comfortable environment. Without all these, clubbing is meaningless and is just a social activity.

Look at the SKY!

~The best place to look at the sky--> Kelana Jaya~

Recently, I like to look at the sky, the sky changes everyday and will never be the same. Sometimes the sky looks gloomy, sometimes the sky looks sunny, sometimes it's just a mixture of everything. And the changes of sky is kind of unpredictable. Sky makes me think of life!

We are thinking about life all this while, and perhaps our life changes everyday as well? I think so, you won't repeat the thing you are doing now in the future. Just one time, an event only occur once in our life. You might say you are doing the same thing everyday: going to uni, eating, doing assignment, walking, sleeping... But there must be some differences: feelings are different, the people walking around you are different, the cars passing by are different, different date, different time, etc... Since everything happens only once in our life, why not we appreciate what we have now, why not we appreciate every moment, every second, everything and EVERYONE in our life. We will never know what is going to happen next second, why must we regret after something happens? Perhaps this is life, life will never be perfect. But why can't we just appreciate everything and everyone? Why?!

Now, I learn to appreciate, appreciate every moment, appreciate everyone, and appreciate my life. If everyone has a choice over his/her life, why not we choose to appreciate our life? I admit I take things for granted previously, I thought people treat me nice is a must and I don't need to appreciate them or whatsoever. I never appreciate people who treat me nice and kind before, NEVER! That's why I lost so much and regretted so much. Nevermind, is not too late to learn to appreciate now!

Today, the sky was beautiful and I told my sister about that. She told me she likes to look at the sky too when she was in UK. She said looking at the sky, she realize the world is big and wide, and we are just a tiny part in this world. So, don't overlook the problems we are facing now, it's actually a small matter. When you look wider, you will open up your heart as well as your life. Yeah, we are just a small part in this world, why must we let a small matter bothering us for the whole life?! Look wider, look farther, you will realize everything is so different!

~It's sunny in Perth~

~Gloomy sky from Newcastle~

~Sad? Lonely? From Nottingham~

~Beautiful sky, I love this, Sheffield, from my room~

1st of Dec, tired!

It's December 1st, 2007. So fast, it's really fast! First post in December, the feeling is complicated, wondering why. But now, I am tired, especially these few days.. TIRED!

Yesterday night, went to library with Pricilla and Muriel, three of us were study hard in the library. especially Pricilla, she looked so stress... We study hard until didn't realizr it was rainning outside, that's why we need to wait for the bus in rain, freezing cold and tired.

~What are you thinking, Muriel?~

~Stress Pricilla~

~It's about memory again~

I just came back from Nottingham, it was a nice trip actually, but I am tired and sleepy. Because I just slept for not more than 2 hours last nite, why?! Those who knows me will know the reason why. Windy night without taking my dinner, thanks Joan, to keep me warm inside your room, with the cup noodles and instant mushroom soup, especially when I don't feel like staying in my flat.

Life would never be easy, and I personally think that life would never be simple. Some people will just make you automatically mess up your life though you tried hard to live a simple life. Some people are just weird, weird in the sense of I couldn't stand of what they did, at least what they did to me. They aren't hurting me, but sometimes just being too over, is like they did more than what they should do. Just understand your part, do your part, don't do more than that, people will not appreciate it but just find it irritating.

Okay, my brain is shutting down I guess, not functioning well, I am tired...........

p/s: Nottingham photos will be uploaded in facebook.