Today is the last day of 2009. Again time flies. 2009, too much to be remembered. For sure there are ups and downs during 2009. Here are what had happened in 2009:
1. I've officially graduated and started my master course which is another stage of my life.
2. My parents, aunty and uncle visited UK and attended my big day-->graduation.
3. I've travelled to my favourite places such as Prague, Amsterdam, and Italy.
4. I went back Malaysia during summer and I had a great time there with family and friends.
5. My dearest "ah kong" Dao Yong visited UK two weeks ago.
6. I have my great time and sweet memory back in Sheffield with my housemate and friends. Really unforgettable memories in my life.
**The six things listed above are all my happy moments during 2009 and they will become one of my sweetest and unforgettable memories in my life.
The downs in 2009, I try to recall all those memories but it's difficult. Well, since it's something sad, disappointing, depressing, so there's no point mentioning about them. Let's FORGET about them!
2010 is coming soon, any new year resolution? Well, often I will only try to achieve my new year resolutions during the first few months of the year, because I am so lack of SELF-REGULATION! So this year I just list down a few here:
1. Successfully graduated with a master degree.
2. Found the prince of my life (Wish me luck please).
3. Able to look for a good job after graduate no matter is in UK or Malaysia.
4. Hope my family and friends will stay healthy and happy and earn alot of money!
5. Hope I am living a healthy and happy life too. Everything will go smooth!
Happy New Year 2010 everyone!! May everyone has a great year ahead! All the best!!
~Aza-aza Fighting~
My Memories
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Complaints
Life in London is all about money, sigh! Once I step into a bus and went to Central London, I know I will need to spend. Gosh, I desperately need more money, preferably money earned by myself. Know what, I found my favourite maggie goreng in London, I was so touched and happy, felt so warm, lol. The differences between London and Sheffield: I can hang out until night time while the shops and restaurants are still open in London but not Sheffield, London has too much temptations and distractions.
Just want to talk about something here. Some people just like to think and say I am too fragile and weak to live my life. Well, when I am having troubles or problems, I just like to talk to someone, I just want to release my dissatisfaction and anger. If I am really that fragile, I would have did something negative (attempted suicide/harm myself) or I would just give up my life and studies here. If you didn't experience what I've experienced, you are not in a position to judge me! What you need to do is just shut up and stop judging me. I might be weak and emo at that particular moment, but nobody is perfect. Who doesn't feel sad, disappointed, angry in their whole life?
Imagine you living alone, all by yourself, can't go online but you are paying for the service, suddenly running out of gas, hot water, heater in this cold weather, trying to ask for help from neighbour but he/she refused to help and you need to carry the heavy table by yourself to third floor, don't have much friends in this new place. But what did I do? I cried, yes I cried, so what? I did not give up, I carried the desk by myself, I called the internet service provider day and night for 2 weeks until it was settled, I callede the gas company and I knew how my gas worked. I learned and I move on . I am not that fragile, at least I am tough enough to face the problems and release my emotions and move on. I wrote this not to ask for sympathize because I don't need it! I just want people to know that don't judge me when you don't know how it feels.
Well, at least I know more now, I know more about how's everything operates here, I know how to live my life whereas some people just don't know about most things in daily life!
Just want to talk about something here. Some people just like to think and say I am too fragile and weak to live my life. Well, when I am having troubles or problems, I just like to talk to someone, I just want to release my dissatisfaction and anger. If I am really that fragile, I would have did something negative (attempted suicide/harm myself) or I would just give up my life and studies here. If you didn't experience what I've experienced, you are not in a position to judge me! What you need to do is just shut up and stop judging me. I might be weak and emo at that particular moment, but nobody is perfect. Who doesn't feel sad, disappointed, angry in their whole life?
Imagine you living alone, all by yourself, can't go online but you are paying for the service, suddenly running out of gas, hot water, heater in this cold weather, trying to ask for help from neighbour but he/she refused to help and you need to carry the heavy table by yourself to third floor, don't have much friends in this new place. But what did I do? I cried, yes I cried, so what? I did not give up, I carried the desk by myself, I called the internet service provider day and night for 2 weeks until it was settled, I callede the gas company and I knew how my gas worked. I learned and I move on . I am not that fragile, at least I am tough enough to face the problems and release my emotions and move on. I wrote this not to ask for sympathize because I don't need it! I just want people to know that don't judge me when you don't know how it feels.
Well, at least I know more now, I know more about how's everything operates here, I know how to live my life whereas some people just don't know about most things in daily life!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Crappy post
Alright, it's been some time since my last update. How's London? (Most people was asking me this question) Well, sometimes I just don't feel like I am in London except when I passed through the London landmark (Big Ben and London Eye) maybe one or twice in a week? Coz I will only go to Central of London once in a while. So nothing much about London yet. =)
Actually I don't have much to talk about, my life is nothing much special. Today, I learned about changes in organisation today and most people don't like those changes and they feel stress. Know what, I basically hate changes, changes in any aspect: life, studies, relationship, job, etc. Well, I know I still can adapt to these changes after some time, like what I did now, but I just don't like changes. Changes made me feel uncertain and insecure, everything need to be reset. But, changes are inevitable and unavoidable, so finger cross everything will be fine!
I admit that I am a person who think too much, sensitive, narrow minded, emotional, stubborn, taking things personally, most importantly, a person who dare not speak out my mind in a group disucssion. I don't know why I just don't have the confidence and courage to speak out loudly in a group, I wish my brain has unlimited flow of ideas/critical thoughts, I wish I can just speak out what I think and what I want. It's so difficult for me to really engage and enjoy a group discussion and most of the time group work stressed me up. All I know is to conform and to agree, loser!
Sometimes, I blame my earlier education where we don't really given the chance to speak out what we think. Teachers don't encourage questioning, we just need to listen to teachers, did what they said. When we doubt and question about something, we got punished. We memorize model essay to write a good essay, we did 10, 20, 30 times of correction of the same question without knowing the reason why. We read from the book, we did not explore the environment around us, what we knew is how to study in order to get straight As. You know what, primary school until master level, the most stressful study period for me is during primary school. I was not in control of everything, I was just a study machine.
But it is not the case now, I have the control, I am free to speak out what I want, I found it is so hard to speak out, so hard to think critically, so hard to critize a journal article. Basically I just agree with everything, I just think what people said is right, I don't know how to spot out mistakes and flaws. Goshhh..... I just need more confidence and courage and braveness. PLEASE!
I know this is a crappy post, just let me release everything out, alright?
Actually I don't have much to talk about, my life is nothing much special. Today, I learned about changes in organisation today and most people don't like those changes and they feel stress. Know what, I basically hate changes, changes in any aspect: life, studies, relationship, job, etc. Well, I know I still can adapt to these changes after some time, like what I did now, but I just don't like changes. Changes made me feel uncertain and insecure, everything need to be reset. But, changes are inevitable and unavoidable, so finger cross everything will be fine!
I admit that I am a person who think too much, sensitive, narrow minded, emotional, stubborn, taking things personally, most importantly, a person who dare not speak out my mind in a group disucssion. I don't know why I just don't have the confidence and courage to speak out loudly in a group, I wish my brain has unlimited flow of ideas/critical thoughts, I wish I can just speak out what I think and what I want. It's so difficult for me to really engage and enjoy a group discussion and most of the time group work stressed me up. All I know is to conform and to agree, loser!
Sometimes, I blame my earlier education where we don't really given the chance to speak out what we think. Teachers don't encourage questioning, we just need to listen to teachers, did what they said. When we doubt and question about something, we got punished. We memorize model essay to write a good essay, we did 10, 20, 30 times of correction of the same question without knowing the reason why. We read from the book, we did not explore the environment around us, what we knew is how to study in order to get straight As. You know what, primary school until master level, the most stressful study period for me is during primary school. I was not in control of everything, I was just a study machine.
But it is not the case now, I have the control, I am free to speak out what I want, I found it is so hard to speak out, so hard to think critically, so hard to critize a journal article. Basically I just agree with everything, I just think what people said is right, I don't know how to spot out mistakes and flaws. Goshhh..... I just need more confidence and courage and braveness. PLEASE!
I know this is a crappy post, just let me release everything out, alright?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Not well
I think I am not well now, falling sick I guess, and feeling stress.
I never thought of studying could be this stress. Last time felt stress because of deadlines and workload, but all that are still manageable. I feel so different this time, I don't have the enough knowledge about business world, I feel so inferior and not confident especially in a group discussion, I just kept quiet all the time, because I don't know what to say. No more common sense, no more crapping.
Well, just a short post, gonna go home soon!
I never thought of studying could be this stress. Last time felt stress because of deadlines and workload, but all that are still manageable. I feel so different this time, I don't have the enough knowledge about business world, I feel so inferior and not confident especially in a group discussion, I just kept quiet all the time, because I don't know what to say. No more common sense, no more crapping.
Well, just a short post, gonna go home soon!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Aza-aza Fighting
Hello to everyone... I'm back in UK finally, but why does UK seems so unfamiliar to me? To be specific, London is so unfamiliar to me. Things are not going smooth here: I couldn't move in to my new place on the expected date, I run away to Sheffield because basically I have no one to look upon in London, I have trouble moving things from Sheffield to London, etc. Sigh =(
I wish I am home now, I wish I am with my family and friends now, how I wish, I wish... But there's no turning back, I have to move on and I know I will be moving on. Things around are harsh to me, I know it's tough, at times I just want to cry everything out. I try my best to hold my tears because people told me there's nothing to be cried about. But crying is just to make myself feel better, after crying, I wiped off the tears and I move on.
Keep telling myself don't be afraid and everything is gonna be fine! There's obstacles but they are not going to stop me from moving forward, I thought of giving up sometimes but I will not give up so easily. Nothing could beat me, I will stand firm and stay strong and survive because that's who I am!
Aza-aza fighting Dolly!!!
I wish I am home now, I wish I am with my family and friends now, how I wish, I wish... But there's no turning back, I have to move on and I know I will be moving on. Things around are harsh to me, I know it's tough, at times I just want to cry everything out. I try my best to hold my tears because people told me there's nothing to be cried about. But crying is just to make myself feel better, after crying, I wiped off the tears and I move on.
Keep telling myself don't be afraid and everything is gonna be fine! There's obstacles but they are not going to stop me from moving forward, I thought of giving up sometimes but I will not give up so easily. Nothing could beat me, I will stand firm and stay strong and survive because that's who I am!
Aza-aza fighting Dolly!!!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Bye Sheffield
It's my last night here in Sheffield and I am having complicated feelings. Even though this place is kinda boring and not much entertainment, I've been here for two years. I experienced many things here:happy, sad, angry, disappointment, etc. Many things have happened, many things have changed, and I have grown up alot here. Still remember the first day I reached here, everything is so strange for me, I was so nervous and lonely, but things got better and better.
Been busy packing for the past few days, thanks to Hwan Cui who helped me out these few days and be my companion when everyone is away from here. It's always glad to have someone to help you out when you need help. Sheffield is so quiet without students around, everyone went home and the environment+weather=lonely+sad. Well, I might have the chance to come back and visit, but everything will be different as most friends will not be here anymore.
"Remember walking up and down the hill in the freaking cold weather. Remember burning midnight oil for essays, dissertation, and exams. Remember wanted to walk up the hill to see sunrise at 4am. Remember baking and cooking were so fun. Remember going exam in the snow and the celebration after exams. Remember the shopping spree and dimsum time, and walking in the chilling weather experiencing the christmas feel. Remember drink and drunk, crapping and crying at the same time..." Too many things to be remembered, too much memories, and those memories will be one of the sweetest moment in my life, I will never forget...
Bye Sheffield, miss you and all my buddies here!
Been busy packing for the past few days, thanks to Hwan Cui who helped me out these few days and be my companion when everyone is away from here. It's always glad to have someone to help you out when you need help. Sheffield is so quiet without students around, everyone went home and the environment+weather=lonely+sad. Well, I might have the chance to come back and visit, but everything will be different as most friends will not be here anymore.
"Remember walking up and down the hill in the freaking cold weather. Remember burning midnight oil for essays, dissertation, and exams. Remember wanted to walk up the hill to see sunrise at 4am. Remember baking and cooking were so fun. Remember going exam in the snow and the celebration after exams. Remember the shopping spree and dimsum time, and walking in the chilling weather experiencing the christmas feel. Remember drink and drunk, crapping and crying at the same time..." Too many things to be remembered, too much memories, and those memories will be one of the sweetest moment in my life, I will never forget...
Bye Sheffield, miss you and all my buddies here!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Life.Update
Well, didn't update my blog for quite some time, been busy with my graduation, application, parents visit, etc. Finally I am back in Sheffield, but I am going back Malaysia in two days time. Just came back from Europe trip with my family, been to Italy, Luzern, and Paris.
Time flies man, I've graduated and I am going back home soon. Everything that happens is just yesterday, when I was sitting here rushing for dissertation, burning midnight oil for exam; but now I am packing, ready to go home. My graduation day is not as excited as what I thought, firstly because of the weather, it's been raining for the whole day and I've no mood to take photos around the uni. Sigh, the weather in UK, unpredictable! Secondly, everything was too rush and I was too tired. Third reason is something which couldn't meet my expectation.
Travelled to some places during this summer holidays and I think travel could be very enjoyable at the same time very tiring. People said one'e perspective will be wider after travelling because you experience different lifestyle, you meet different people in different countries. I sorta agree with this because when you go to more places, you will realize the world is so big, and I am only a little tiny dot in the world. Nothing is perfect and not everything can satisfy our needs that's why I am learning to adapt, adapt to different people and different environment.
I've always feel grateful and glad with what I have now. I feel grateful to my parents because they are the one who give me the chance to experience the different world. I shouldn't ask for more, I should be satisfy with what I have and who I am now.
Okay, feel abit dizzy now, shall update again soon! Take care everyone!
Time flies man, I've graduated and I am going back home soon. Everything that happens is just yesterday, when I was sitting here rushing for dissertation, burning midnight oil for exam; but now I am packing, ready to go home. My graduation day is not as excited as what I thought, firstly because of the weather, it's been raining for the whole day and I've no mood to take photos around the uni. Sigh, the weather in UK, unpredictable! Secondly, everything was too rush and I was too tired. Third reason is something which couldn't meet my expectation.
Travelled to some places during this summer holidays and I think travel could be very enjoyable at the same time very tiring. People said one'e perspective will be wider after travelling because you experience different lifestyle, you meet different people in different countries. I sorta agree with this because when you go to more places, you will realize the world is so big, and I am only a little tiny dot in the world. Nothing is perfect and not everything can satisfy our needs that's why I am learning to adapt, adapt to different people and different environment.
I've always feel grateful and glad with what I have now. I feel grateful to my parents because they are the one who give me the chance to experience the different world. I shouldn't ask for more, I should be satisfy with what I have and who I am now.
Okay, feel abit dizzy now, shall update again soon! Take care everyone!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Lovely Birthday Pressie
Whee~ I should post this last week, but was busying with my exam! The most touching and lovely belated birthday present this year! All the way from Malaysia from my dearest Dao Yong ah kong!!!
~He's amazing~
~He's amazing~Thanks Mr. Lim for the lovely pressie, it means alot to me, and keep me motivated during my exam period!!!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Inferior Fish
Okay, I am sort of done with everything: dissertation, assignments and exams! Hopefully I gonna graduate successfully with flying colors.
Done?! That's what I've been waiting for, but I am not that excited and happy as what I've expected. Travel, I've been looking forward to travel somewhere since I haven't step out from UK this year. But, why I don't feel the excitement of travelling like when I first came here? What's wrong with me?
One year can change many things, and I realize that is life! Maybe when you ask me two years in UK, when is my happiest moment? I would definetely say it's my first year here, when I was being who I was. I found great friends, I have wonderful travelling days, I was alone but not lonely, and days with tears and laughters. This year, my life is dull and boring, studying and rushing for assignments and I become social phobic. I don't have the heart to know new friends, don't want to talk to the people I don't know, and I prefer to stay away from the crowd. I feel so uncomfortable when accidentally bumped into people I sort of know/don't know in a public place.
I think people just will have the impression that I am anti-social. "Dolly likes to club? Don't joke, I think she never went to club before!" LOL... I think only my JM and housemate know exactly how's our life back home.
Know what, last nite was talking with my kai ka lou through msn, we didn't hear each other voice for about two years, and last nite was really happy to talk to him and sing together! He was asking me "How are you? Are you okay?" Well, I told him and many people that I don't have confident in most things nowadays, I felt inferior easily especially when I made a silly mistake. I am not confident with my result and not confident with myself. One stupid thing can make me ruminate for days, and I don't even know what's the point of caring so much and think so much? Be more selfish okay? Don't always think of how other people look at you okay? Don't give them a damn! Just don't give them a damn!
But, how sweet is my kai ka lou to sing me my favourite song recently, missing the days sing k with you! Because of want to sing k and hang out with you, I might change my air ticket to earlier date so that I can meet up with you before you go back to US, how great I am! Thanks Carol for reminding me don't be too soft and let people step up on me! I got it! =D
Bless me to stay strong and stay confident! Boost my self-esteem please! Bless me so I could get 2:1 and graduate successfully!!!
Done?! That's what I've been waiting for, but I am not that excited and happy as what I've expected. Travel, I've been looking forward to travel somewhere since I haven't step out from UK this year. But, why I don't feel the excitement of travelling like when I first came here? What's wrong with me?
One year can change many things, and I realize that is life! Maybe when you ask me two years in UK, when is my happiest moment? I would definetely say it's my first year here, when I was being who I was. I found great friends, I have wonderful travelling days, I was alone but not lonely, and days with tears and laughters. This year, my life is dull and boring, studying and rushing for assignments and I become social phobic. I don't have the heart to know new friends, don't want to talk to the people I don't know, and I prefer to stay away from the crowd. I feel so uncomfortable when accidentally bumped into people I sort of know/don't know in a public place.
I think people just will have the impression that I am anti-social. "Dolly likes to club? Don't joke, I think she never went to club before!" LOL... I think only my JM and housemate know exactly how's our life back home.
Know what, last nite was talking with my kai ka lou through msn, we didn't hear each other voice for about two years, and last nite was really happy to talk to him and sing together! He was asking me "How are you? Are you okay?" Well, I told him and many people that I don't have confident in most things nowadays, I felt inferior easily especially when I made a silly mistake. I am not confident with my result and not confident with myself. One stupid thing can make me ruminate for days, and I don't even know what's the point of caring so much and think so much? Be more selfish okay? Don't always think of how other people look at you okay? Don't give them a damn! Just don't give them a damn!
But, how sweet is my kai ka lou to sing me my favourite song recently, missing the days sing k with you! Because of want to sing k and hang out with you, I might change my air ticket to earlier date so that I can meet up with you before you go back to US, how great I am! Thanks Carol for reminding me don't be too soft and let people step up on me! I got it! =D
Bless me to stay strong and stay confident! Boost my self-esteem please! Bless me so I could get 2:1 and graduate successfully!!!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
What's holding me back?
Grey's anatomy season 5 finale was awesome. It was so great! I never watch a series which could touched my heart so deeply, tears fell as if the scene was actually happen in my life. Oh gosh, it really touches my heart.
Well, been busy revising recently, but sometimes something will eventually make me think. I love to think, think about myself, think about life, think about the people. Watching greys always reminded me of appreciating lives, appreciating what we have, and appreciating the people we love. They are ambitious, they do what they want to achieve; but me, been thinking so long and couldn't make a firm decision.
What is holding me back? What is actually holding me back? I am on a webpage where I just need to click on a button and pay for the master deposit, but till now I think I still need more courage. But why? What am I thinking about? Thinking about 2 years life in UK is more than enough, is time to go back? Thinking about give up Sheffield I might regret? Thinking that I might not used to the life in London? Or thinking that I don't have the confident to make it? Yeah, I am not confident, where's my confident gone? I don't know.
I overheard the phrase “有梦就要勇敢地去追”. Why I chose to study psychology at the first place? Because that is what I like, what I want. I think I know what to do now, to pay the deposit, to study hard, taking my first step to achieve my dream! Bless me!
And to all my friends, if you have a dream, go for it!
Well, been busy revising recently, but sometimes something will eventually make me think. I love to think, think about myself, think about life, think about the people. Watching greys always reminded me of appreciating lives, appreciating what we have, and appreciating the people we love. They are ambitious, they do what they want to achieve; but me, been thinking so long and couldn't make a firm decision.
What is holding me back? What is actually holding me back? I am on a webpage where I just need to click on a button and pay for the master deposit, but till now I think I still need more courage. But why? What am I thinking about? Thinking about 2 years life in UK is more than enough, is time to go back? Thinking about give up Sheffield I might regret? Thinking that I might not used to the life in London? Or thinking that I don't have the confident to make it? Yeah, I am not confident, where's my confident gone? I don't know.
I overheard the phrase “有梦就要勇敢地去追”. Why I chose to study psychology at the first place? Because that is what I like, what I want. I think I know what to do now, to pay the deposit, to study hard, taking my first step to achieve my dream! Bless me!
And to all my friends, if you have a dream, go for it!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Dinner and Dance
Just an instant update. Went to the Dinner and Dance organized by Sheffield's Malaysian and Singaporean Society (MASSOC). Some pictures from the night:
~Hmm...~
~Joan.H Yiang.Dolly.Muriel~
~Hugz~
~My dearest coursemate~
~Jocelyn and me~
~Florence and me~ 
~Joule, Joseph, and me~
~The gals~ 
~Us again~
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I love Spring
Spring is here!!! Flowers everywhere!! Nice and sunny weather, days longer than nights, I love I love, I love spring... Last year Easter, I've been to York, this year Easter, I went to York too! I like York for no reasons, just like it!
~Cool~
~I love this pic~
~The rare sunny weather in UK~
~The wonderful Spring time~
~I love Flowers~
~Enjoying Spring~
~Whee~
~Cool~ ~I love this pic~
~The rare sunny weather in UK~
~The wonderful Spring time~
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I hate this
I am such a indecisive person!!! =(
I hate this, I hate the indecisive me! Indecisive in everything!
I hate this, I hate the indecisive me! Indecisive in everything!
Friday, April 17, 2009
《再别康桥》
偶然听到了一首很不错的歌，唤起了我中学时期背诵名句精华的日子。这首新诗本来就是很有意思，林宥嘉独特的嗓音把《再别康桥》唱得更有感觉，我听了觉得很感动，很有意境。康桥离我不远，我想因该找天到那一游，然后也找找达胜。
再别康桥
作者：徐志摩 曲：西楼 主唱：林宥嘉
轻轻的我走了，正如我轻轻的来；
我轻轻的招手，作别西天的云彩。
那河畔的金柳，是夕阳中的新娘；
波光里的艳影，在我的心头荡漾。
软泥上的青荇，油油的在水底招摇；
在康河的柔波里，我甘心做一条水草！
那榆荫下的一潭，不是清泉，是天上虹；
揉碎在浮藻间，沉淀着彩虹似的梦。
寻梦？撑一支长篙，
向青草更青处漫溯；
满载一船星辉，在星辉斑斓里放歌。
但我不能放歌，悄悄是别离的笙箫；
夏虫也为我沉默，沉默是今晚的康桥！
悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来；
我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩。
p/s : MELVIN MAH should thank me, introducing such a nice song and enhanced your knowledge in mandarin!! DAO YONG: Thanks for the Yoga's album first... Woohoo~ I introduce you nice song too!!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Dilemma
I am in a dilemma, I am lost, I don't know whether to stay back in UK for Masters or go back?
Master in Organisational Psychiatry and Psychology in King's College? I am so interested in it, but there's always a BUT. I feel guilty to spend my dad's money. I was wondering how many years my dad need to work to earn that money? And zOoM... it gone all the money if I decided to continue study. I am always impress of my dad, I respect him and I love him for giving us the best! Well, I will try to apply for funding/scholarship, hopefully my degree results will go well.
I should make up my mind A.S.A.P, but I am avoiding it, avoiding myself to think about it.
So PLEASE, DOLLY LOONG, be motivated and think about it seriously. Once decide, TAKE ACTION!
Master in Organisational Psychiatry and Psychology in King's College? I am so interested in it, but there's always a BUT. I feel guilty to spend my dad's money. I was wondering how many years my dad need to work to earn that money? And zOoM... it gone all the money if I decided to continue study. I am always impress of my dad, I respect him and I love him for giving us the best! Well, I will try to apply for funding/scholarship, hopefully my degree results will go well.
I should make up my mind A.S.A.P, but I am avoiding it, avoiding myself to think about it.
So PLEASE, DOLLY LOONG, be motivated and think about it seriously. Once decide, TAKE ACTION!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Random Update
Hello everyone!! Happy easter!!
Done with my dissertation and having a 3 weeks holiday now. Suddenly have the feel to update my blog, just to write down my feeling and my thoughts. These few days, the weather in Sheffield is good, sunny and warmer. I was sitting in front of the St. Paul fountain with my ice-cream, I saw many people sitting/relaxing on the grass, children playing in the fountain, and everyone looks happy and cheerful. That moment, I feel warm and calm. Now I understand why British so so love sunny day. Yeah, it is a huge different on people's feeling, expression, and mood between spring and winter, I know that!
Long time I never browse through people's blog, suddenly feel like reading people's blog but sadly most of my close friends did not update their blog for a long time. Any interesting blog to introduce? I am more interested in people writing about their thoughts, feelings, and their point of view on everything. More philosophical, so I can get some inspiration. I came true a singer's blog, who I personally think he is quite good and interesting both on his singing talent and personality. Well, I am interested in different people's experiences and how they feel about their experiences.
I feel glad sometimes that I am still able to live my own simple life while others might wish they have a simple life. People, when you are living a simple life, you wish you are somebody; when you are somebody, you wish you could live a simple life, coz we'll never satisfy. I have my ambition and dreams, but it is always not easy to reach out to your dream. Sometimes I will think my dream are far far away from me; but it's because I haven't step out, I haven't try. Perhaps when I take the first step, when I found my courage and faith, eventually dream is not too far from, because I am moving towards my dream.
Wish my dreams will come true! Wish everyone's dreams will come true too!
Done with my dissertation and having a 3 weeks holiday now. Suddenly have the feel to update my blog, just to write down my feeling and my thoughts. These few days, the weather in Sheffield is good, sunny and warmer. I was sitting in front of the St. Paul fountain with my ice-cream, I saw many people sitting/relaxing on the grass, children playing in the fountain, and everyone looks happy and cheerful. That moment, I feel warm and calm. Now I understand why British so so love sunny day. Yeah, it is a huge different on people's feeling, expression, and mood between spring and winter, I know that!
Long time I never browse through people's blog, suddenly feel like reading people's blog but sadly most of my close friends did not update their blog for a long time. Any interesting blog to introduce? I am more interested in people writing about their thoughts, feelings, and their point of view on everything. More philosophical, so I can get some inspiration. I came true a singer's blog, who I personally think he is quite good and interesting both on his singing talent and personality. Well, I am interested in different people's experiences and how they feel about their experiences.
I feel glad sometimes that I am still able to live my own simple life while others might wish they have a simple life. People, when you are living a simple life, you wish you are somebody; when you are somebody, you wish you could live a simple life, coz we'll never satisfy. I have my ambition and dreams, but it is always not easy to reach out to your dream. Sometimes I will think my dream are far far away from me; but it's because I haven't step out, I haven't try. Perhaps when I take the first step, when I found my courage and faith, eventually dream is not too far from, because I am moving towards my dream.
Wish my dreams will come true! Wish everyone's dreams will come true too!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Me and my dissertation
Been busy for my dissertation recently, besides stress and worry, I don't know how to describe my feeling now. Thought passed up my first draft, then I can relax for a while. Yes I did; but today when I received feedback from my supervisor, OMG, I am so disappointed! Disappointed and angry of myself, because I think I can do better, because sometimes I just procrastinate too much.
Came to UK to study sometimes makes me think that I am not as competent as other people, I am not as hardworking and smart as other people. I feel inferior sometimes, especially when meeting my supervisor and some coursemates. Sometimes, it reminds me of my high school life, when I thought I was as academically competent as other peers, when little effort was needed. Thinking of my previous performances make me feel even more inferior now. Now, I spend months for one assignment, but sometimes the outcome is not equally same as the efforts.
Second year here, seems like I don't really have much fun compared to last year. No more traveling, no more hanging around, no more relaxing where people always perceive study in UK is having so much fun and so relaxing. Oh well, people only see the happily traveling moments but never see the time when we are struggling. Travel travel, I wanna take a break from Sheffield, RIGHT NOW!
Well well, one more week, one more week then I'll be temporarily free--> 3 weeks Easter break!
Conclusion: Sometimes study is so tiring, I might need a break from study.. Bless me, bless my dissertation will be great! =)
Came to UK to study sometimes makes me think that I am not as competent as other people, I am not as hardworking and smart as other people. I feel inferior sometimes, especially when meeting my supervisor and some coursemates. Sometimes, it reminds me of my high school life, when I thought I was as academically competent as other peers, when little effort was needed. Thinking of my previous performances make me feel even more inferior now. Now, I spend months for one assignment, but sometimes the outcome is not equally same as the efforts.
Second year here, seems like I don't really have much fun compared to last year. No more traveling, no more hanging around, no more relaxing where people always perceive study in UK is having so much fun and so relaxing. Oh well, people only see the happily traveling moments but never see the time when we are struggling. Travel travel, I wanna take a break from Sheffield, RIGHT NOW!
Well well, one more week, one more week then I'll be temporarily free--> 3 weeks Easter break!
Conclusion: Sometimes study is so tiring, I might need a break from study.. Bless me, bless my dissertation will be great! =)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
陌生人
陌生人
蔡健雅
作词：姚谦 作曲：蔡健雅
一朵云能载多少思念的寄托 在忽然相遇的街头
当我们擦身而过 那短短一秒钟
都明白 什么都变了
一转身谁能把感慨抛在脑后 在事过境迁以后
这感情就算曾经 刻骨且铭心过
过去了 又改变什么
地球它又 公转几周了
我不难过了 甚至真心希望你能幸福 当我了解你只活在记忆里头
我不恨你了 甚至原谅你的残忍理由 当我了解不爱了
连回忆 都是负荷
浓情爱恋 都已陌生了
我不难过了 甚至真心希望你能幸福当我了解你只活在记忆里头
我不恨你了 甚至感谢这样不期而遇
当我从你眼中发现我已是 陌生人
我已是 陌生人了
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Valentine's day post?!
Finally, I am done with my experiment, been working for more than 3 months, and finally I got all 60 participants! It's time to analyse my data and write up for my dissertation. Going to be very busy again soon, very soon.
Finally, I've finished the drama series. Opps, actually I didn't finish it, I just watch until episode 52 and I skipped all the other episodes until episodes 81 and 82. Well, the ending was okay, kinda expected it to be. I always love to see the ending as soon as possible no matter is watching series or reading a book. Well, I know the process towards the ending is interesting and is important in moving towards the ending and people always say that enjoy the process regardless of what the ending is. But I think all the processes are drawing towards the ending, the conclusion. So, no matter how, people still care about the ending. People work hard regardless of the obstacles, happy or unhappy, is just to strive for what they want, that's the goal. It's just like experiment, to test the hypotheses in order to draw a conclusion.
I always prefer hong kong series because it's more near to the reality, to the actual world. Perhaps I watched hong kong series since I was small, and my dad always share the same opinion as me, the story line is more realistic and more natural. Everything just happen, and love just come so naturally, that's our life. Some drama is just too fairy tales. Everyone likes fairy tales love story, but fairy tales rarely happen and we're not living in a wonderland. Be realistic, think of what you want and move on.
Opps, I forgot is Valentine's day today. Well, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Those with gf/bf/husband/wife, may your love last forever. For those who are single, let's cheers for single and enjoy your single life while looking for the right prince/princess to appear. Lol...
Happy Valentine's Day!
Finally, I've finished the drama series. Opps, actually I didn't finish it, I just watch until episode 52 and I skipped all the other episodes until episodes 81 and 82. Well, the ending was okay, kinda expected it to be. I always love to see the ending as soon as possible no matter is watching series or reading a book. Well, I know the process towards the ending is interesting and is important in moving towards the ending and people always say that enjoy the process regardless of what the ending is. But I think all the processes are drawing towards the ending, the conclusion. So, no matter how, people still care about the ending. People work hard regardless of the obstacles, happy or unhappy, is just to strive for what they want, that's the goal. It's just like experiment, to test the hypotheses in order to draw a conclusion.
I always prefer hong kong series because it's more near to the reality, to the actual world. Perhaps I watched hong kong series since I was small, and my dad always share the same opinion as me, the story line is more realistic and more natural. Everything just happen, and love just come so naturally, that's our life. Some drama is just too fairy tales. Everyone likes fairy tales love story, but fairy tales rarely happen and we're not living in a wonderland. Be realistic, think of what you want and move on.
Opps, I forgot is Valentine's day today. Well, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Those with gf/bf/husband/wife, may your love last forever. For those who are single, let's cheers for single and enjoy your single life while looking for the right prince/princess to appear. Lol...
Happy Valentine's Day!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Present and Future?
Finally exam is over and new semester gonna start soon! The feeling after exam was like woohoo~ FINALLY! Shopping spree and a nice dinner after exam to reward myself, kekeke. Well, been watching the latest hong kong series after exam, day and night, non-stop. But now, I am bored of that series, basically the whole series is about how people make used of each other and betray each other just to get what they want. But I just want to know the ending :S
Actually I shouldn't be free after exam, should be working on my dissertation, should be thinking about my plans after graduate, but I am just avoiding it. What should I do after graduate? Continue to do master or start looking for job? Master, where? UK or Australia? Argh, I am on way to fill up the application form for Master in Occupational Psychology in King's College but I am so lazy and unmotivated to write a personal statement, to get reference letters, bla bla bla... Most importantly, I lack confidence for my result. I am just avoiding it, don't want to think about it, though deadline is getting nearer. If getting a job, which area should I go into? 5 months to go, it seems long but actually it is not. Sigh, somebody, choose for me, pick for me.
It has been snowing lately, and it's pretty when everything turns into white: the ground, the cars, the roof, the park, the street, etc. But, after the snow melts, the road become very slippery and I nearly fell down for few times, like ice-skating. Hmm, so there is always pros and cons for everything that happen? I wanted to upload some photos but I don't know what's wrong with my bluetooth, think I will upload it soon. Getting sleepier, to be continued...
Actually I shouldn't be free after exam, should be working on my dissertation, should be thinking about my plans after graduate, but I am just avoiding it. What should I do after graduate? Continue to do master or start looking for job? Master, where? UK or Australia? Argh, I am on way to fill up the application form for Master in Occupational Psychology in King's College but I am so lazy and unmotivated to write a personal statement, to get reference letters, bla bla bla... Most importantly, I lack confidence for my result. I am just avoiding it, don't want to think about it, though deadline is getting nearer. If getting a job, which area should I go into? 5 months to go, it seems long but actually it is not. Sigh, somebody, choose for me, pick for me.
It has been snowing lately, and it's pretty when everything turns into white: the ground, the cars, the roof, the park, the street, etc. But, after the snow melts, the road become very slippery and I nearly fell down for few times, like ice-skating. Hmm, so there is always pros and cons for everything that happen? I wanted to upload some photos but I don't know what's wrong with my bluetooth, think I will upload it soon. Getting sleepier, to be continued...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Emo-ing
It's 2009 now. Think back of 2008, there's so many things happened and which indirectly change my life now. Sometimes was thinking looking forward for a simple life but is not easy at all. Is not that I don't want, people and environment just don't allow me to be simple. I do not want to involve in something, eventually I need to be involved. If I don't, people will think I am selfish, I am fake. But hey man, this world doesn't always appear to be what you expect it to be. Why want me to choose? To choose the either one? I don't want to choose cause I don't want to lose anyone. But sometimes being nice to people is just like using the knife to hurt yourself. Who cares? People told me that I am stubborn, I will not admit my mistake even is my fault. But why you wanna pull me inside the ocean when you know I don't know how to swim? Why you wanna tell me all these when you know I am not firm enough to handle this, when you know I always being sensitive?
This time, I admit is my fault not fully trusted you. I am not in a position to judge that's why I don't want to be involved. I am not being fake, is just I am too scare to lose all friends. What I feel now? Seriously I am feelingless, started to think I am on my way to become cold blooded. This is not the single case. Time flies, people changed. I am that type of person who doesn't like changes. But now, I just didn't cry and I really can't feel the pain and sadness anymore. Maybe I am immuned to it, maybe I am numb. I've been tearing alot last year, but it only makes u weak and irritates other people. You know, I wanted to cry recently, but I realize I couldn't, I just don't know how to cry anymore. Sometimes I was thinking of giving up, giving up everything.
"Only tough people can make it to the last." But my friends used to tell me to be weak, don't be too strong. Haha, what a contradiction. Weak? I was weak before, but it irritates people and nowadays not only weak gals will get the attention. In contrast, in times we just need to be tough, independent, and smart enough to stand by ourselves. Depend on yourself before you try to depend on others. In this realistic world, I need to be tough and I always need to depend on myself when facing problems. I could complain and could get comfort from family and friends, but lastly I am still the one who is going to solve them out. Don't try to get sympathy from other people, we need to respect ourselves before others respect us. So, chill Dolly! Give up what you should give up, and move on cheerfully. I know you can, have faith!
This time, I admit is my fault not fully trusted you. I am not in a position to judge that's why I don't want to be involved. I am not being fake, is just I am too scare to lose all friends. What I feel now? Seriously I am feelingless, started to think I am on my way to become cold blooded. This is not the single case. Time flies, people changed. I am that type of person who doesn't like changes. But now, I just didn't cry and I really can't feel the pain and sadness anymore. Maybe I am immuned to it, maybe I am numb. I've been tearing alot last year, but it only makes u weak and irritates other people. You know, I wanted to cry recently, but I realize I couldn't, I just don't know how to cry anymore. Sometimes I was thinking of giving up, giving up everything.
"Only tough people can make it to the last." But my friends used to tell me to be weak, don't be too strong. Haha, what a contradiction. Weak? I was weak before, but it irritates people and nowadays not only weak gals will get the attention. In contrast, in times we just need to be tough, independent, and smart enough to stand by ourselves. Depend on yourself before you try to depend on others. In this realistic world, I need to be tough and I always need to depend on myself when facing problems. I could complain and could get comfort from family and friends, but lastly I am still the one who is going to solve them out. Don't try to get sympathy from other people, we need to respect ourselves before others respect us. So, chill Dolly! Give up what you should give up, and move on cheerfully. I know you can, have faith!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I am back!
Happy New Year everyone! Well well, I am late, forgive me for never update my blog for about one month. I was back in Malaysia and now I am back!!! Did you guys miss me while I was away? Lol, just kidding. Okay, so how was my trip back home? It was nice, it was fun and I was so reluctant to come back here. I miss my days there, with family and friends, hanging around, even stay at home by itself is nice and comfortable!
Back here, I was so stress and tired because of exam, but this time suprisingly I don't really feel nervous and unprepared like I did, though I might not be preparing well. The first paper wasn't so good, but again I don't feel that sad and worry. Since when I become so feelingless? Am I too exhausted to feel anything or am I already used to and feel numb towards those negative feelings? I think so too.............
Okay, let's enjoy some pictures from Malaysia:
~Family in Concorde Hotel, KL~
~Yen and Me at MOS~
~Acting cute? Acting silly?~
~Carol and Dolly in MOS~
~Me, Yen, and Florence~
~Souled out reunion with college mates, where is Mich?~
~The "forever love" Ah Po and Ah Kong~
Back here, I was so stress and tired because of exam, but this time suprisingly I don't really feel nervous and unprepared like I did, though I might not be preparing well. The first paper wasn't so good, but again I don't feel that sad and worry. Since when I become so feelingless? Am I too exhausted to feel anything or am I already used to and feel numb towards those negative feelings? I think so too.............
Okay, let's enjoy some pictures from Malaysia:
~Family in Concorde Hotel, KL~~Yen and Me at MOS~
~Acting cute? Acting silly?~
~Carol and Dolly in MOS~
~Me, Yen, and Florence~
~Souled out reunion with college mates, where is Mich?~
~The "forever love" Ah Po and Ah Kong~ An instant update for now... =)
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