Bye Sheffield

It's my last night here in Sheffield and I am having complicated feelings. Even though this place is kinda boring and not much entertainment, I've been here for two years. I experienced many things here:happy, sad, angry, disappointment, etc. Many things have happened, many things have changed, and I have grown up alot here. Still remember the first day I reached here, everything is so strange for me, I was so nervous and lonely, but things got better and better.

Been busy packing for the past few days, thanks to Hwan Cui who helped me out these few days and be my companion when everyone is away from here. It's always glad to have someone to help you out when you need help. Sheffield is so quiet without students around, everyone went home and the environment+weather=lonely+sad. Well, I might have the chance to come back and visit, but everything will be different as most friends will not be here anymore.

"Remember walking up and down the hill in the freaking cold weather. Remember burning midnight oil for essays, dissertation, and exams. Remember wanted to walk up the hill to see sunrise at 4am. Remember baking and cooking were so fun. Remember going exam in the snow and the celebration after exams. Remember the shopping spree and dimsum time, and walking in the chilling weather experiencing the christmas feel. Remember drink and drunk, crapping and crying at the same time..." Too many things to be remembered, too much memories, and those memories will be one of the sweetest moment in my life, I will never forget...

Bye Sheffield, miss you and all my buddies here!

Life.Update

Well, didn't update my blog for quite some time, been busy with my graduation, application, parents visit, etc. Finally I am back in Sheffield, but I am going back Malaysia in two days time. Just came back from Europe trip with my family, been to Italy, Luzern, and Paris.

Time flies man, I've graduated and I am going back home soon. Everything that happens is just yesterday, when I was sitting here rushing for dissertation, burning midnight oil for exam; but now I am packing, ready to go home. My graduation day is not as excited as what I thought, firstly because of the weather, it's been raining for the whole day and I've no mood to take photos around the uni. Sigh, the weather in UK, unpredictable! Secondly, everything was too rush and I was too tired. Third reason is something which couldn't meet my expectation.

Travelled to some places during this summer holidays and I think travel could be very enjoyable at the same time very tiring. People said one'e perspective will be wider after travelling because you experience different lifestyle, you meet different people in different countries. I sorta agree with this because when you go to more places, you will realize the world is so big, and I am only a little tiny dot in the world. Nothing is perfect and not everything can satisfy our needs that's why I am learning to adapt, adapt to different people and different environment.

I've always feel grateful and glad with what I have now. I feel grateful to my parents because they are the one who give me the chance to experience the different world. I shouldn't ask for more, I should be satisfy with what I have and who I am now.

Okay, feel abit dizzy now, shall update again soon! Take care everyone!

Lovely Birthday Pressie

Whee~ I should post this last week, but was busying with my exam! The most touching and lovely belated birthday present this year! All the way from Malaysia from my dearest Dao Yong ah kong!!!

~He's amazing~

Thanks Mr. Lim for the lovely pressie, it means alot to me, and keep me motivated during my exam period!!!

Inferior Fish

Okay, I am sort of done with everything: dissertation, assignments and exams! Hopefully I gonna graduate successfully with flying colors.

Done?! That's what I've been waiting for, but I am not that excited and happy as what I've expected. Travel, I've been looking forward to travel somewhere since I haven't step out from UK this year. But, why I don't feel the excitement of travelling like when I first came here? What's wrong with me?

One year can change many things, and I realize that is life! Maybe when you ask me two years in UK, when is my happiest moment? I would definetely say it's my first year here, when I was being who I was. I found great friends, I have wonderful travelling days, I was alone but not lonely, and days with tears and laughters. This year, my life is dull and boring, studying and rushing for assignments and I become social phobic. I don't have the heart to know new friends, don't want to talk to the people I don't know, and I prefer to stay away from the crowd. I feel so uncomfortable when accidentally bumped into people I sort of know/don't know in a public place.
I think people just will have the impression that I am anti-social. "Dolly likes to club? Don't joke, I think she never went to club before!" LOL... I think only my JM and housemate know exactly how's our life back home.

Know what, last nite was talking with my kai ka lou through msn, we didn't hear each other voice for about two years, and last nite was really happy to talk to him and sing together! He was asking me "How are you? Are you okay?" Well, I told him and many people that I don't have confident in most things nowadays, I felt inferior easily especially when I made a silly mistake. I am not confident with my result and not confident with myself. One stupid thing can make me ruminate for days, and I don't even know what's the point of caring so much and think so much? Be more selfish okay? Don't always think of how other people look at you okay? Don't give them a damn! Just don't give them a damn!

But, how sweet is my kai ka lou to sing me my favourite song recently, missing the days sing k with you! Because of want to sing k and hang out with you, I might change my air ticket to earlier date so that I can meet up with you before you go back to US, how great I am! Thanks Carol for reminding me don't be too soft and let people step up on me! I got it! =D

Bless me to stay strong and stay confident! Boost my self-esteem please! Bless me so I could get 2:1 and graduate successfully!!!

What's holding me back?

Grey's anatomy season 5 finale was awesome. It was so great! I never watch a series which could touched my heart so deeply, tears fell as if the scene was actually happen in my life. Oh gosh, it really touches my heart.

Well, been busy revising recently, but sometimes something will eventually make me think. I love to think, think about myself, think about life, think about the people. Watching greys always reminded me of appreciating lives, appreciating what we have, and appreciating the people we love. They are ambitious, they do what they want to achieve; but me, been thinking so long and couldn't make a firm decision.

What is holding me back? What is actually holding me back? I am on a webpage where I just need to click on a button and pay for the master deposit, but till now I think I still need more courage. But why? What am I thinking about? Thinking about 2 years life in UK is more than enough, is time to go back? Thinking about give up Sheffield I might regret? Thinking that I might not used to the life in London? Or thinking that I don't have the confident to make it? Yeah, I am not confident, where's my confident gone? I don't know.

I overheard the phrase “有梦就要勇敢地去追”. Why I chose to study psychology at the first place? Because that is what I like, what I want. I think I know what to do now, to pay the deposit, to study hard, taking my first step to achieve my dream! Bless me!

And to all my friends, if you have a dream, go for it!

决定。选择

我患了“选择恐惧症”, 我没信心說服自己我做的决定一定是对的。

有些决定或许会影响我接下来的人生。

每一天都在逃避，迟迟不肯做决定。

我害怕，所以我怯步了，我犹豫了，我迷惘了。

请保佑我！

Dinner and Dance

Just an instant update. Went to the Dinner and Dance organized by Sheffield's Malaysian and Singaporean Society (MASSOC). Some pictures from the night:

~Hmm...~

~Joan.H Yiang.Dolly.Muriel~

~Hugz~

~My dearest coursemate~

~Jocelyn and me~

~Florence and me~

~Joule, Joseph, and me~

~The gals~

~Us again~