My day

One and half hour ago, it's Saturday.. This Saturday seems to be different from the previous Saturday. I was busy for the whole day and was out for the whole day. For the first time, my Saturday wasn't lonely, wasn't quiet and wasn't bored. It should be a happy Saturday for me.

Oh, I enjoy the night with my parents, aunty, sister, and cousin in the heaven, the curve. The curve on Saturday was crowded and happening, people hanging around the cafe, clubs and pubs. What was I doing then? Most of the time, I was observing people around me. Hahaha... An interesting activity actually. I saw different types of people, mostly were youngsters, with different fashion, chit-chatting. Few people celebrate their birthday there, and that remind me of my 19th birthday, at the same place 2 years ago. An unforgettable birthday celebration I guess, it's always a sweet memory for me.

It's been a long time I didn't hang out with my parents like this. I really appreciate and feel happy about that. As we are growing up, there are less topic between parents and us. Sometimes, face to face, I really don't know what to talk, and the topic just about my studies and my future. That's why, I feel tense when I am facing my parents, especially recently. Only today, we got more nonsense to talk, the environment and feeling were relax and happy.

But when back home, my mom mentioned something that spoiled my mood. Why? Don't tell me you hope there is someone to accompany me go UK, to pick me up, to settle me down or whatever. Do you think is that easy? Who do you think your daughter is? Always want me to find somebody to accompany me here and there, but please be understanding that everyone has his/her own plans, no one will sacrifice so much for your daughter me! Futhermore, I am not that useless, I don't need to depends on people to survive, you are making me feel damn inferior, my self-esteem decreases dramatically!

That moment, I really don't feel like speaking a word because I had repeadly explain and explain to you before. I really feel like throwing whatever things in my room, feel like shout as loud as I can, feel like sharing my feelings to people but where to find? Looking up my phone-book, just realise I got not much friends who can share my feelings, is either in overseas or hanging out or sleeping.. Luckily, there were my darling-Finny and my dear-Rebin online to share my feelings. The moment I felt sad and disappointed, I just hope someone could share my feelings with me, I just want some supportive words, that's all...

I know you are worry about me, mom. I am not blaming you, just believe in me, believe me that I have the ability to survive, to adapt. Just give me your support, it means a lot for me, really! Maybe one sentence "Gal, I know you are growing up, mummy believes you can do it, no matter what happens, I will support and be with you!" For me, it is more than enough! Trust me, I will not make you worry, mummy, I will be a tough and mature gal, and everything will be fine!