Finally!!!

Yes! Finally! Finally I've submitted both essays which due on week 12. Opps, for your information, I am already in Malaysia for one week. It's look like I have my holiday one week earlier than my friends, but actually I've been rushing like hell for my essays throughout the week. So, I'm back, feelings? I don't know... Last post was writing about my thoughts one night before I left UK, and yeah, it's just like yesterday, time flies man...

Well, the feeling is kinda different from when I was back for summer. Different feeling, because different friends. Something and some place which seem to be strange for me during the summer now seem familiar to me. Meet up with some old friends, we still able to talk like we did, but our lifestlye has changed==>imagine the three of us wanted to go home at 12am?! We know we cannot go back to the past, to the lifestlye and freedom we used to have.

Sometimes I wish I am not back in here for holiday, I do not want to come back to this land of reality, which I always need to face the reality which I do not want to know and to stress up myself for so many things, which make me often think of staying back in UK is actually a good thing. However, back here sometimes reminded me of last summer when I spend three months here. Dude, life here got bit different without your "38" shadow. No sing k in cheras plaza, no sushi and ice-cream, and no more your "hypothetical questions" in Laundry! And most importantly, cannot "wat" people to treat us eat. Lol...

Okay okay, gonna meet up with my buddies real soon too! Woohoo~ Reunion and gathering, can't wait to see all the 'keh-poh" faces. See you guys ya!! MOS? Mana-mana sajalah!

A night with thoughts

I am down in London again now. Staying awake in 4.40am local time, need to go to the airport at 6.30am. As you guys know, I am going to leave UK for about a month time. Well, I know I haven't been updating my blog for quite some time, because everytime I wanted to update, is either I don't know what to write or I got so sleepy and tired when I wrote the first sentence. I've been busy for quite some time, essays, experiments, etc, etc... Well, I am not going to relief till 17th Dec..

Somehow, I always feel heavy hearted when I want to leave UK. Maybe I'm just contradicting myself at times, when I was sick, I feel like going home, but now, I am not... Somehow, I know I get attached to UK in any way, perhaps the cold weather, when walking in the freezing weather. Perhaps I miss my peeps here, I miss the days we hang out together, shopping together, and go IC together till late at night. Perhaps is just everything here is what I usually do for the dayss...

London, is always unexpectedly colder than Sheffield, I don't know why. Today, there is something like funfair in London, they have many games which you could win a big soft toys. I was in the same place last year. I saw a lot of gals hugging the big bear around Leicester Square and I want one too! But, maybe I just don't have the luck on it, even though is not I myself playing it and is not my money too!

Sometimes I just feel miserable...

Sometimes I just don't know what I want...

Okay... I shall update my blog again with pics... But NOT for now!

Happy holidays everyone and Merry X'mas and Happy New Year!

Bye UK and here I come--> Malaysia!

A day off from Sheffield

I've been very very busy recently. Psychology department and the Information Commons are my second home. Conducting experiment everyday until evening, then rush to IC to write my essay, I reached home at midnight most of the days, tired and exhausted. Well, finally I could spare some time to take a break of from Sheffield, I went to London, meet up with friends from HELP, I have a great time there. Not to mention, trying to have a shopping spree with Miss. Joan, sadly shops closed earlier on Sunday and the shopping spree is not that successful.

~Siew Wen and me along the crowded Oxford Street~

~Christmas Lights~

~It's dinner time~

~Kai Lun & Siew Wen~

~Kai Lun & Me~

Thanks Siew Wen for being a great host and I enjoyed the short trip. Thanks to Kai Lun too for coming out for dinner even I called him at the very last minute. I appreciate it very much and hopefully you guys will pay a visit to Sheffield in coming days. Oh ya, and I met Jane, Mabel, and Justin too. Thanks Jane and Mabel for purposely look for in the morning... Sorry for the rush trip I have, cause I thought of going on Friday but I really can't spare my time out on that day. =p

Okayy... An instant update. I shall get back to my busy life... Busy, bUsy, BuSy...

Dreams

I think we all have a dream, a goal or an ambition. Some of us try our best to strive for it; some of us just talk about it but doesn't make a move to achieve it. Is it hard to strive for what we want? Maybe we will say it's hard, but we always believe when we have the faith, we can make our dreams come true. I have dreams, especially when I was small and when I was in the high school. Sometimes I wish I can become a doctor, sometimes I wish I am somebody, etc. But, all these are just dreams because it doesn't last long in my mind and I am not gonna to achieve it.

I have forgotten since when, my dream and my ambition is to become a psychologist. This dream of mine is different from other dreams, because I hold on to it, because I have faith, that's why here I am, a 3rd year psychology student. Well, many people always think that psychologist is someone who deal with patients with mental disorders, listening to people's problems and people to settle problems. Once, I wanted to become a clinical psychologist, but when I know the chances to get a doctorate in clinical psychology in UK is near to impossible, I think " a dream is still a dream". "A brilliant degree, experiences in clinical settings, and preferably students who don't need a working permit in UK"---> I guess I am not the one!

And then, with a psychology degree, what can I do? I am not a psychologist apparently, but actually I can do so many things: human resource, marketing, research and development, consulting, etc. etc. But is that what I want? Sometimes I wanted to further my study, but sometimes I am just so sick and tired of study, it's not an easy way to become a psychologist. Well, guess I will try my best in my final year, now my dream is wish to get funding and continue with postgraduate study. I wish my dream will come true...

Slacking for Grey's Anatomy

Oh my god! I feel so bad now! I've been spending hours on Grey's Anatomy where I supposedly should be doing my essay! I feel guilty, feel bad, but I am just so addicted to Grey's Anatomy. Saving lives are great, isn't it?I wish I could save people's life too, perhaps I could, and I believe I could in a way. I like the "take home message" in the end of every episode. Sometimes, this series just has a great impact on me. Perhaps when you see and experience between live and death, you will be more grateful and appreciate what you have now!

Okay, life is short, so, get back to work and appreciate my time! Don't crap so much nonsense here..................

I feel bad and guilty, and now I am going back to work! Ciao!

Think and Feel

I realize, we always want to understand the people around us, wondering what are they thinking, what's inside their mind, etc. Sometimes I was asking myself why I found it hard to understand some people around me, I just feel like I want to know what are they thinking. But, why are we so eager to understand others while we don't seem to perfectly understand ourselves? Perhaps we need not understand who our friends are, but to accept who they are. Knowing too much is not a good thing either, sometimes it just irritates both you and your friends. Curiosity kills, and it killed me before, painfully. So, never ask too much of Wh questions, it only will makes people feel annoyed. Maybe everything happens for a reason, but it is not essential for people to tell you every reason they might have.

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Sigh, what am I going to do after graduate? Looking for a job here is not easy at all. Went to career fair, the jobs offer look so great and tempting. Honestly, I wish to stay here after graduate. I don't know why, I just feel that I like the life here. As somebody said that, staying in UK is like a dream, less worries; whereas going back to Malaysia is like going back to reality. Well, I know maybe both of us are just avoiding the reality, because we just don't want to face the reality. Then, we make a decision: we are going to stay here together! We'll try our best to look for job here! Oh, I told a friend of mine my ambition is to be a good housewife and he was like "serious?" Haha, yeah, it's so not me, I ain't going to be a full time housewife, I ain't going to cook and stay at home for whole day, I just CAN'T do that! I am not a HM gal, but I just need to have my own life, to stand on my own feet..........

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Sometimes I was wondering about my destiny, I always believe that destiny is in my hand, even though I might not be able to change my final destiny , but at least I will try my best to get what I want. I am not that into fortune teller, but I like to listen to what they say about me, if is something good, I am more than willing to listen, if not, I will forget about it the next day, it't just self-fulfilling prophecy, I just listen to what I believe is true and ignore those which is untrue. Perhaps I am fortune teller too, because people used to say those who study psychology can read ppl's mind, haha (lame). I don't want to read people's mind too, what for I want to know so much about people's thoughts to bother myself, nothing to do mer?

Joan just say my blog came alive again, but I am craping nonsense here again. But I just like to share my feelings in my blog, as Finny said, something to share with friends. I seldom update my blog when I have no feeling or when I am happy, weird right? That's why most of my post seems grey and bored. Well, just put two photos in this post to make it lively a bit:

~Joan with her Recycle Bag~

~Me and my recycle bag~

Whee~ We love the environment and so we bought the recycle shopping bag costs a pound. Today I forgot to bring it out and scolded by Joan. Sorry, I will remember to bring it next time! Love environment, use recycle shopping bag!!!

冬天的月光

有人说过，外国的月亮特别圆，是真的吗？以理论来说，无论在哪一个国度，我们看到的月亮都是一样的。在这里，我很喜欢望向窗外，那一晚，我看到了非常明亮皎洁的月光，我心里面真的很温暖。或许冬天将至，天空很清晰，所以看到的月亮比较亮，比较大。不知何时开始，我爱上了天空，在房里，累了，看着那无边无际的天空，我释然了；走在街上，看这那布满星星的夜空，让我在这寒冷的冬天有种莫名的感动。

人有悲欢离合

月有阴晴圆缺

人生不也一样吗？

有喜有悲，

最重要的是，

不要轻易放弃。

我相信，

只要坚持下去，

人生还是美好的。

小晶，妳说的对，月亮就像爱我们的人，虽然离我们很远，但他们永远都在那儿守护着我们。

唉！这就是游子们的感触啊! 天空很大，我们却很渺小~