陌生人

陌生人

蔡健雅

作词：姚谦　作曲：蔡健雅

一朵云能载多少思念的寄托 在忽然相遇的街头

当我们擦身而过 那短短一秒钟　

都明白 什么都变了

一转身谁能把感慨抛在脑后 在事过境迁以后　

这感情就算曾经 刻骨且铭心过　

过去了 又改变什么　

地球它又 公转几周了

我不难过了　甚至真心希望你能幸福 当我了解你只活在记忆里头

我不恨你了　甚至原谅你的残忍理由 当我了解不爱了　

连回忆　都是负荷

浓情爱恋　都已陌生了

我不难过了　甚至真心希望你能幸福当我了解你只活在记忆里头

我不恨你了　甚至感谢这样不期而遇

当我从你眼中发现我已是 陌生人　

我已是　陌生人了

Valentine's day post?!

Finally, I am done with my experiment, been working for more than 3 months, and finally I got all 60 participants! It's time to analyse my data and write up for my dissertation. Going to be very busy again soon, very soon.

Finally, I've finished the drama series. Opps, actually I didn't finish it, I just watch until episode 52 and I skipped all the other episodes until episodes 81 and 82. Well, the ending was okay, kinda expected it to be. I always love to see the ending as soon as possible no matter is watching series or reading a book. Well, I know the process towards the ending is interesting and is important in moving towards the ending and people always say that enjoy the process regardless of what the ending is. But I think all the processes are drawing towards the ending, the conclusion. So, no matter how, people still care about the ending. People work hard regardless of the obstacles, happy or unhappy, is just to strive for what they want, that's the goal. It's just like experiment, to test the hypotheses in order to draw a conclusion.

I always prefer hong kong series because it's more near to the reality, to the actual world. Perhaps I watched hong kong series since I was small, and my dad always share the same opinion as me, the story line is more realistic and more natural. Everything just happen, and love just come so naturally, that's our life. Some drama is just too fairy tales. Everyone likes fairy tales love story, but fairy tales rarely happen and we're not living in a wonderland. Be realistic, think of what you want and move on.

Opps, I forgot is Valentine's day today. Well, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Those with gf/bf/husband/wife, may your love last forever. For those who are single, let's cheers for single and enjoy your single life while looking for the right prince/princess to appear. Lol...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Present and Future?

Finally exam is over and new semester gonna start soon! The feeling after exam was like woohoo~ FINALLY! Shopping spree and a nice dinner after exam to reward myself, kekeke. Well, been watching the latest hong kong series after exam, day and night, non-stop. But now, I am bored of that series, basically the whole series is about how people make used of each other and betray each other just to get what they want. But I just want to know the ending :S

Actually I shouldn't be free after exam, should be working on my dissertation, should be thinking about my plans after graduate, but I am just avoiding it. What should I do after graduate? Continue to do master or start looking for job? Master, where? UK or Australia? Argh, I am on way to fill up the application form for Master in Occupational Psychology in King's College but I am so lazy and unmotivated to write a personal statement, to get reference letters, bla bla bla... Most importantly, I lack confidence for my result. I am just avoiding it, don't want to think about it, though deadline is getting nearer. If getting a job, which area should I go into? 5 months to go, it seems long but actually it is not. Sigh, somebody, choose for me, pick for me.

It has been snowing lately, and it's pretty when everything turns into white: the ground, the cars, the roof, the park, the street, etc. But, after the snow melts, the road become very slippery and I nearly fell down for few times, like ice-skating. Hmm, so there is always pros and cons for everything that happen? I wanted to upload some photos but I don't know what's wrong with my bluetooth, think I will upload it soon. Getting sleepier, to be continued...

Emo-ing

It's 2009 now. Think back of 2008, there's so many things happened and which indirectly change my life now. Sometimes was thinking looking forward for a simple life but is not easy at all. Is not that I don't want, people and environment just don't allow me to be simple. I do not want to involve in something, eventually I need to be involved. If I don't, people will think I am selfish, I am fake. But hey man, this world doesn't always appear to be what you expect it to be. Why want me to choose? To choose the either one? I don't want to choose cause I don't want to lose anyone. But sometimes being nice to people is just like using the knife to hurt yourself. Who cares? People told me that I am stubborn, I will not admit my mistake even is my fault. But why you wanna pull me inside the ocean when you know I don't know how to swim? Why you wanna tell me all these when you know I am not firm enough to handle this, when you know I always being sensitive?

This time, I admit is my fault not fully trusted you. I am not in a position to judge that's why I don't want to be involved. I am not being fake, is just I am too scare to lose all friends. What I feel now? Seriously I am feelingless, started to think I am on my way to become cold blooded. This is not the single case. Time flies, people changed. I am that type of person who doesn't like changes. But now, I just didn't cry and I really can't feel the pain and sadness anymore. Maybe I am immuned to it, maybe I am numb. I've been tearing alot last year, but it only makes u weak and irritates other people. You know, I wanted to cry recently, but I realize I couldn't, I just don't know how to cry anymore. Sometimes I was thinking of giving up, giving up everything.

"Only tough people can make it to the last." But my friends used to tell me to be weak, don't be too strong. Haha, what a contradiction. Weak? I was weak before, but it irritates people and nowadays not only weak gals will get the attention. In contrast, in times we just need to be tough, independent, and smart enough to stand by ourselves. Depend on yourself before you try to depend on others. In this realistic world, I need to be tough and I always need to depend on myself when facing problems. I could complain and could get comfort from family and friends, but lastly I am still the one who is going to solve them out. Don't try to get sympathy from other people, we need to respect ourselves before others respect us. So, chill Dolly! Give up what you should give up, and move on cheerfully. I know you can, have faith!

I am back!

Happy New Year everyone! Well well, I am late, forgive me for never update my blog for about one month. I was back in Malaysia and now I am back!!! Did you guys miss me while I was away? Lol, just kidding. Okay, so how was my trip back home? It was nice, it was fun and I was so reluctant to come back here. I miss my days there, with family and friends, hanging around, even stay at home by itself is nice and comfortable!

Back here, I was so stress and tired because of exam, but this time suprisingly I don't really feel nervous and unprepared like I did, though I might not be preparing well. The first paper wasn't so good, but again I don't feel that sad and worry. Since when I become so feelingless? Am I too exhausted to feel anything or am I already used to and feel numb towards those negative feelings? I think so too.............

Okay, let's enjoy some pictures from Malaysia:

~Family in Concorde Hotel, KL~

~Yen and Me at MOS~

~Acting cute? Acting silly?~

~Carol and Dolly in MOS~

~Me, Yen, and Florence~

~Souled out reunion with college mates, where is Mich?~

~The "forever love" Ah Po and Ah Kong~

An instant update for now... =)

Finally!!!

Yes! Finally! Finally I've submitted both essays which due on week 12. Opps, for your information, I am already in Malaysia for one week. It's look like I have my holiday one week earlier than my friends, but actually I've been rushing like hell for my essays throughout the week. So, I'm back, feelings? I don't know... Last post was writing about my thoughts one night before I left UK, and yeah, it's just like yesterday, time flies man...

Well, the feeling is kinda different from when I was back for summer. Different feeling, because different friends. Something and some place which seem to be strange for me during the summer now seem familiar to me. Meet up with some old friends, we still able to talk like we did, but our lifestlye has changed==>imagine the three of us wanted to go home at 12am?! We know we cannot go back to the past, to the lifestlye and freedom we used to have.

Sometimes I wish I am not back in here for holiday, I do not want to come back to this land of reality, which I always need to face the reality which I do not want to know and to stress up myself for so many things, which make me often think of staying back in UK is actually a good thing. However, back here sometimes reminded me of last summer when I spend three months here. Dude, life here got bit different without your "38" shadow. No sing k in cheras plaza, no sushi and ice-cream, and no more your "hypothetical questions" in Laundry! And most importantly, cannot "wat" people to treat us eat. Lol...

Okay okay, gonna meet up with my buddies real soon too! Woohoo~ Reunion and gathering, can't wait to see all the 'keh-poh" faces. See you guys ya!! MOS? Mana-mana sajalah!

A night with thoughts

I am down in London again now. Staying awake in 4.40am local time, need to go to the airport at 6.30am. As you guys know, I am going to leave UK for about a month time. Well, I know I haven't been updating my blog for quite some time, because everytime I wanted to update, is either I don't know what to write or I got so sleepy and tired when I wrote the first sentence. I've been busy for quite some time, essays, experiments, etc, etc... Well, I am not going to relief till 17th Dec..

Somehow, I always feel heavy hearted when I want to leave UK. Maybe I'm just contradicting myself at times, when I was sick, I feel like going home, but now, I am not... Somehow, I know I get attached to UK in any way, perhaps the cold weather, when walking in the freezing weather. Perhaps I miss my peeps here, I miss the days we hang out together, shopping together, and go IC together till late at night. Perhaps is just everything here is what I usually do for the dayss...

London, is always unexpectedly colder than Sheffield, I don't know why. Today, there is something like funfair in London, they have many games which you could win a big soft toys. I was in the same place last year. I saw a lot of gals hugging the big bear around Leicester Square and I want one too! But, maybe I just don't have the luck on it, even though is not I myself playing it and is not my money too!

Sometimes I just feel miserable...

Sometimes I just don't know what I want...

Okay... I shall update my blog again with pics... But NOT for now!

Happy holidays everyone and Merry X'mas and Happy New Year!

Bye UK and here I come--> Malaysia!