Crap

It's been a few days since that incident happened, and the incident made me look clearer the things happen around me. Perhaps after something happened, I click on the refresh button in my mind, and it's getting clear and refreshing now. No one would be perfect in this world including me. I made the mistake, I was losing control on my emotions, and I was super down. But, no one could actually be strong and tough all the time right? Everyone will be experience the "down" moment, and everyone would have some time of being emo, right? Well, don't come over and tell me I am a psychology student, and I must know how to deal with my emotions, and how to find a way to release them. Psychology student is also a human, just like doctor, do you think a doctor will not fall sick forever?

Well, I admit is my fault and I am so willing to face it, I learn from experience and I told myself the same thing would not happen next time. I will only make a promise when I know I will try my best to do it. After the emo period, I also need to stand up, to face the world and to continue my life. Honestly, I had never thought of giving up my life just like that, and I appreciate everything gave by everyone. I appreciate the sacrifaction my dad gave me to further my study in UK. Since that day my dad promise to let me come over UK, I told myself not to make him disappointed, I told myself I must live a happy life here and enjoy every moment here. I tried, that day I left, I didn't cry, even a drop of tear also don't have. I told myself I cannot cry, I must be brave, even though deep in my heart I am so fear to travel alone, but I did it, I came to Sheffield, I survive!

Perhaps I suppressed my feelings for quite a long time, so it's just split out with the presence of some stimulant. I cried, cried out the fears in my heart, cried out the tension and pressure in my heart, I just feel like letting out the feelings, sadly in a wrong way. But when I woke up from the unconsiousness, I realize many things have changed. I learn a lot from this experience but why can't just give me a chance to face it, to live a new life? It's like the criminal from the prison, they wish to live a new life, but the people and society never give them a chance to start over again, because in human's mind "once you make the mistake, you will never got the chance to restart." But, do you know what a person who fell before want? They just need supports and some caring actions, not the realistic and sarcastic words which cut off their hopes. After a trauma, people are psychologically weak, try to be empathy, try to feel the way they feel, give more supports, you will never know you actually helping a person to feel there's hope in this world.

Come across a book, psychology is not about common sense, think deeply, it is more than a common sense. What is a good theory? Good theory is falsifiable, which it has the possibility to be false. We can't always get the exact data to support the theory, that's why from the discomfirmation of data, theory evolve to be more relevant to the reality. And making mistake is very normal in science, so as being a human. Human learn from mistakes, if you want to be successful, you must not afraid to fall, you must not afraid of making mistake, you must not afraid to feel the pain. That's why, when you make a mistake, you learn from it, you are getting closer to succeed. Because from the mistake you made, you know the problem in yourself, you change or modify it, to become a better man.

So, basically this post is about craps... Erm, wanna say sorry to those who worry about me so much, no worries, after releasing the emotions, I am fine and I am sure I could continue with my journey. And, thanks for all the supports and caring... Love you guys so much... muaks..