Holiday's thoughts

Hmm, it has been some time I never update my blog. Missing for one week, just came back from Spain few days ago. Didn't tell many people when I left to Spain, didn't contact with most of the people except one or two. I just want to keep myself away from people, to enjoy my holiday to the maximum without thinking of any nonsense. And yeah, I did, I did have a nice and enjoyable holiday there, it's so wonderful.

Back from Spain, I suddenly think of there is no forever winner or loser. It's just like the archictecture period of Gaudi, the design was amazing, but my friend told me the period doesn't last for long. Some people, thought they are the winner most of the time, no matter is in a relationship or in studies, and when they fall, they will say "this is my first time or you are the first person who do this to me!" Oh well, I used to think like that before, but when I have a great fall, the so-called first time, I realize there is no forever winner.

Sigh, a winner always give people the impression of strong and tough. Even though they feel sad and unhappy or experiencing failure, they will pretend nothing happen, pretend to be tough, pretend to be cool, pretend to be happy, pretend to be they are perfect. I agree that sometimes we need to be strong and tough to move on, but why not we just give us a chance to feel exactly what our hearts want us to feel? Some people used to say I always pretend to be happy, haha, it doesn't matter. People who know me well know when I am happy and when I'm not. I used to think that I was a good pretender which will hide my emotions to myself, but in fact I think I am not. Again, people who understand me know I am not!

I kinda think that relationship among people is very complicated, unpredictable, and fragile. Generally I am speaking about all types of relationship, not just about romantic relationship. At a moment, I thought something will remain the same all the time, but I'm wrong. I feel the changes, perhaps you're not the only one who changed, we all changed. Changes is inevitable, when we realize we have different dreams, different pathway, and different thoughts, we know we are on the different way. I kinda annoyed when I know something, I started not to care, I just don't want to care. The more I care, the more depress I am.

Okay, enough of crapping. Forgive me for this long boring post since I never blog for quite some time.

It's time to get back to my 70% essay. NO MORE PROCRASTINATING since I am running out of time! Bless me~