Save the last outing

Okay, I am in starbucks again, with my favourite drink ice-blended mocha and some free muffins! Few days past, I am quite busy and tired packing my stuffs. Yesterday, I had a happy and great time with my good buddies in neway karaoke and sakae sushi! Here are some pictures we took last night:

~My bro, khe kong and me~

~Ah kong Dao Yong and Ah mah Yen~

~Dao Yong, Khe Kong, Yen and Dolly~

~Sakae Sushi~

~Yen and Dolly @The Curve~

It's fun hanging out with you guys though from a huge group become four of us. Haha, I appreciate it a lot and wondering when can we hang out again? Perhaps next year, when everyone of us back in Malaysia. I miss those days a lot, and it will be in my memory forever! Take care guys and see ya next year! Thousands of misses from me and remember to keep in touch! ~Hugs~

3 months back

Time flies, one week later my sister going to marry and I will be leaving Malaysia to further my study in the United Kingdom. Back in June, everyone including me thought I am going to Australia to further my study, and when I look back those days, it was so funny yet depressing. I still remember everyone was having farewell for me: my family, relatives, and friends! Oh, then everyone went clubbing together in Maison since they thought it was the last time to club with me. At first some people just refuse to go clubbing, but thought is my farewell, then terpaksa go also. Ho ho ho, who knows, I am not leaving to Australia...

That day, I was thinking about the "if, if, if questions". Honestly, I myself don't really like those hypothetical questions, because if everthing has an "if", many things will not happen, right? But that day, I was thinking:"If I am in Adelaide now, how would the life be? Hanging out with Michele and Melvin like last time?" "If the Australia High Commision had inform me to go through further medical check-up, if the doctor informed me one week earlier, I should be in Adelaide now."

Then, I was telling myself "Dolly Loong, if so many "ifs", you also won't be going to UK right?"

That time, I was telling my sister I will be back on her wedding day as well as the dinner. Haha, but now I'm still in Malaysia, I definetely will be attending her wedding, sadly, I am not able to attend her wedding dinner which I am looking forward to.

Sometimes, I guess something just beyond my control, but did I try my best? Did I do everything I can to smoothly transfer to Adelaide? I don't know, my dad was telling me I AM NOT! Whatever! It's a past tense I can't change the anything now, what I know is I need to move on and move on, because time will never stop, and life still never stop there waiting for me! What I need to do is go to UK and study hard, live a happy and healthy life and complete my degree! Bless me!

Specially to special friends

I was bored last night and I drawed two pictures for my dearest Melvin and Michele. The drawing wasn't that nice and pretty since I don't really have the talent on it! Okay, here are the pictures I draw:

~This is the one I drew for Melvin~

~This is the one I drew for Michele~

Then then, there must be something in return from them also I guess... Melvin actually create a "combination of photos" for me! So bad of you, make me miss you all terribly! It's so touching and i will appreciate it a lot a lot. When shall we gather again to take as much photos as we can?

~This is the pictures combination created by Melvin~

~This is the one did by Michele~

Okay, thanks Melvin and Michele... I shall bring it along with me to UK and I shall always remember the sweet and happy moment we had! Hopefully you all aren't guests is my life, because we are friends forever, the so-called "realistic, cold-blooded, sarcastic and talkative" geng! Cheers!

Future

Future, is kind of unpredictable, sometimes it's just out of our control, do you agree with this?

My future, erm... I guess if I am going to further study after my degree, I would like to go back to Adelaide, Australia. Why I used the word "go back" since I haven't been there before? Simply because I should be there at the first place but ended up I didn't. But that would only happen after two years, means year 2009. Okay, Michy, you shall wait me there after two years and we can hang out together like last time we did in KL (So you won't be so bored anymore facing that pig).

If in the future I am able to meet with my college mates, I would like to spend time hanging out together with them or going for a vocation? I think the feelings are kinda funny and different when we actually going back to Redang Island? Who knows till that time my darling already dump me and be together with that Rebin since they are in the same country and told me they are waiting for each other.

The nearest future, my 21st birthday, how would I celebrate my 21st birthday? Definetely would be in UK, with who? I don't know and hopefully my birthday will not be a lonely birthday! Family and close friends not around, I shall sing the song by Landy for myself. And finally, next year summer break, will I be meeting my friends around the world back in Malaysia? We can't really promise anything coz "future, who knows what will happen?" Just hope we can gather again and enjoy our holidays!

Some people will say future is beyond our control while some says it is not. My believe is we can do something for our future, at least we try our best to create the future we want. There might be some external factors, but when you try your best, it has nothing to regret of ! Cheers for our futures!

Random thoughts

I feel that relationship among people is somehow complicated. I was talking with my dad last night, he told me as I grow up, the relationship among people become very important and I need to learn the skill to socialize with people around me. My dad told me no matter you like that person or not, you still need to be good with them, at least have some common talks with them. A friend actually tell me it's true, we just accept what the person want to be, it doesn't mean that we need to agree with the person's thoughts and behavior. Okay, for me, if I really don't like a person, I don't wish to talk to him even a single word, because I think that why must I pretend to talk nicely with him since my heart doesn't want me to talk to him? But, when I recall back, I realize I did talk nicely with the people who I don't have good impression on them. And suprisingly, most of the time I did have a good socializing skill, which some people called the skill as fakeness. Don't blame me, this is the skill I need in order to survive in this society (Pig told me this too!)

I am flying off to UK after two weeks. Some people asked about my feelings, and mostly they will said "feel excited right? I guess there must a better life in oversea, right?" Honestly, I think my feelings are complicated. Excitement? I don't really feel it now, I think nervous and worries overcome the excitement. When I told them my worries, they were like telling me "don't think so much, you're always that tough and independent, should be no problem one!" Ya, I know they are comforting me, but as rebin and melvin said: people just don't understand the toughness we have in overseas.

When I close my eyes, I can imagine the day I reach Manchester airport, skinny me with luggages, and don't know a single thing over there! And the clever me, created "beautiful lies" to tell my parents I am well- prepared and no worries for everything. I just keep everything by myself, pretend to be tough and independent. Oh, is not pretend, is a must to be tough and independent so that I won't collapse there. Well, I know I will be doing fine over there (hopefully). Should be not much problems, because I am always that tough and independent. I must break the history record of mine by going so far without friends.
~Sighz~

Different people have different perspective on study abroad! I don't agree with the perception that people who can study abroad are all darn rich! You won't know how much the suffer and sacrifaction some parents gave. It's a stereotypes, you just percieve thing from the very surface, try to think from others' perspective, it's not that easy!

Okay okay, just bless me everything will be alright when I reach UK! Everything goes smoothly and I always being that tough, independent and cheerful! ~No tears~

Bye! Shang Villa Condo

I am going to move from Kelana Jaya to Puchong in hours time. Supposedly I should feel happy and excited moving to a new place. Unfortunately, I don't have the excitement at all, don't ask me why because I am wondering why too! It's like I was not in the mood for all the preparation such as packing stuffs, choosing furniture, countdowning, etc... Perhaps I am comfortable with the place I am staying now, perhaps I just haven't walk out from my downness, I guess I am having "transfer phobia"...

Well, Shang Villa Condo, I have been living in this condo even before I came to KL to further my study. For me, it's a nice and comfortable place although is relatively small compare to the new house in Puchong. It's kinda convenient to go out from here, at least at least I don't need to pass through a tol every day and night. It definetely would be a traffic jam especailly on LDP and Federal Highway, but at least it is nearer. I am wondering how many hours do I need to stuck in the traffic jam on the way back to Puchong?

This condo shared my experiences, my feelings for at least two years time. The scene from the balcony is nice and pretty. I still remember when I was alone at home or when I was moody and emotional, I like to stand at the balcony, looking at the scene, the buildings, the trees and started to dream, and often I fly to somewhere and empty up my mind. After that, it was so refreshing and I can continue with my work. Sometimes, my house could be very noisy and happening, sometimes it could be extremely quiet. I remember last time I often burn the midnight oil rushing for my assignments, and when I felt hungry, I will go to kitchen and cook instant noodles or made a milo. And my house just left me alone, it's still something to do, either watching television or stand at the balcony to dream, it could be lonely yet I like the feeling!

It is a invisible bond between me and this condo. I believe there are memories between you and the things beside you. That's the reason I don't like to throw my things especially those with special memories although my parents will claim the things are actually rubbish. Well, you can't just get everything with money, there is something even money can't buy-->memories and feelings! Off from the topic, I remember my dad actually throw my sticker collection in my hometown after I came to KL. And when I got to know it, I was really going to mad, cried non-stop. My mom promised to buy me new one, and I was telling her money is not everything, you can buy the new one for me, but you can't buy me the feelings and memories I had which are related to my sticker collection. You can say that I am stubborn, you can even say that I am stupid, ridiculous, too emotional. But that is just me, I am holding to something which I believe it's worth, just accept me!

Okay, at least I still can spend time in this condo before I flying off...... I hope moving to the new house is a new beginning for all of us! Just bless everything will be fine!!!!!!!!

Life's stages of mine

Was packing my stuff just now. Look back the photos I took last time, the feelings were complicated and I realize many thing has change. When I was a kid, everyday seems to be very happy. Perhaps because I am the youngest one, everyone so sayang me especially my parents, sister and brother. The clothes I wore were very cute and pretty I guess, so miss those days! I think the happy days remain until I got into standard four, when study became an important part in my life. Non-stop homeworks and exams, until I terribly lost weight that time, so you will see the skinny me today!

After that, are the pictures of my secondary school life especially the year I was in form five. I don't know how to describe my feelings when I look back my secondary school's photos, it's just complicated. When I saw the photo with him, there was a sudden pain in my heart, and the memories flash back into my brain, but it's past, as I said, it's just a memory. Photos with classmates and friends make me suddenly miss them so much. Especially those days we practise for our chinese orchestra, the camp, and the performances. I miss the moment we share our joys and pains! But, many things started to change in this stage. I myself change from positive to negative, from cheerful to sensitive. It seemed that form five is not that smooth and happy for me! Many things happen and I just realize the world is not that beautiful!

Next will be my national service photos. The tougher moment in my life. I met a lot of nice friends. We experience everything together in the 2 months. Suddenly miss you guys badly, and we were like seldom contact with each other nowadays. Suddenly got the urge to call everyone of you! Haha... You all gave me supports and caring when I was in the camp, it was so touching! The road become easier with the companion of you guys! During this stage of life I started to realize there are many things I have and I can do beside love! Yeah! And, I become tougher and more independent from this experience!

Then then, is my college photos. A lot, really a lot. Know a lot of great friends too! The two years college life should be the happiest and cheerful study time I have! Here, I found back my long lost identity, found back my confidence, and being a cheerful girl most of the time! And seems like love is not that important in this stage, because I realize there is something called friendship! Growing up and growing up, become more mature and getting more independent. Okay, now most of the friends in Australia and USA, and I miss you guys too! The most recent photos was took during Yen's birthday, and it just left 6 of us... sad sad!

Oh oh, forget to mention, some people just appear between my life stages, can't put them into any category. Maybe should I categorized them as pass byer in my life? Or some strangers who suddenly walk into my life? But they are still my friends... Erm erm, just let it be cause I don't know where to put them in! Haha...

Well well, going to transfer soon! Who will I going to meet next? Hopefully it would be another great experience for me! Time flies, 20 years just pass like that, when I looked back, it's just like a dream, so so so different! As time goes, we changed, today's me is different from last time in certain aspect. However, I still remain my identity as Dolly Loong!!