Holiday, empty house, empty street, but why am I here, alone? It's not I don't have place to go, it's not I don't have friends to hang out with. But, I choose to run back here, away from the people, away from everything, lock myself in the room for days. I don't know why, and I wish to know why. People always say happiness come from a simple life, but is it that easy to live a simple life? I tried so hard to live a simple life, but is my life simple? I have no idea.
I'm trying to be myself, but the more I try, I wondering who I am? Me, a cheerful gal? A tough gal? A gal who doesn't want to lose in everything? A gal who laugh day and night even for a small thing? Where is the gal gone? Where? People say we learn from mistake, but are we sure we are not going to make the same mistake again? When you cry, you are actually freak up the people around you, they will tell you "Don't cry, why everytime you are crying?!" But, why no people will ask "why are you crying? " How could you ask a person don't cry when you don't even know the reason ? Why not you just let her cry, let her release what she wants.
Sometimes it's just hard, when you try to be tough, people ask you to be soft, don't act tough; when you cry, you are weak, people ask why are you so emotional? I am tired and exhausted, I wish there is someone who can lend me a shoulder to lean on, to let me cry, I want to cry! I am trying to let go something which I shoudn't hold on to. Give me some time, and I know I can do it!
Sorry for posting such an emotioanl post in the beginning of new year! My new year resolution is very simple: hold on to what I should hold on at the same time let go something which is not belong to me, clear up my mind, be myself, and live a simple life. Seems simple but I need strength and courage from you guys! Tell me you all will be there for me always!
My Memories
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4 comments:
elo fren,after reading ur blog duno what kind of advise shud give u..but anyway,in this world manything there have always no answer why like this n why like that..is only depend how u face its..n no matter how..i always b one of ur fren who stay far away to support whatever u are..!!stay tough gal..u can make its n i blif u will b more better then any1 outside there..!!
No answer, haha, forgive me because I am studying a so-called science subject, I always need to look for answer. Hahaha.. Thanks very much, your support means a lot for me! Ya, no one could help me beside me myself!
guess what, I'll 'chang' you geh..despite the teeny weeny bit of loss of contact lately. Havent' been in touch with those ppl back in Msia as well (for your later post). Dao Yong~ I actually forget sometimes.
Mich, thanks for "chang" me! Ya, lost contact, maybe is just the wrong timing. seldom hear from those in malaysia also, hear more from US though. hahaha... keep in touch!
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